Adult sibling loss

When I was 24, my younger brother, who was my only sibling, died. The day the phone rang and I heard my mom say dark, foreign words like coroner, needle, heroin, autopsy , was the most impactful day of my life. In the thickness of shock, I didn't realize that the rest of my life would be measured in before and after. Before, when my family was intact. After, when I would somehow learn to live without the person I was supposed to get a lifetime with. I nodded, but inside me, something twisted.

There is no other loss in adult life that appears to be so neglected as the death of a brother or sister. Rarely has it been the subject of investigation or discussion. Nevertheless, this is a loss to which most of us are repeatedly exposed. While we have only one mother, one father, and one spouse at least at any given point in time , it is not uncommon to have several siblings.

Although more than four million U. Most research and advice focuses on sibling loss during childhood. But losing an adult brother or sister also has a profound, long-lasting impact on surviving siblings, as an increasing number of baby boomers are discovering.

The death of a sibling is the most neglected loss in adult life. Loss of a sibling means loss of someone who knew your formative past. It might trigger feelings of guilt over unsolved sibling issues or a sense of abandonment.